For most families, finances are something discussed only in passing — a bill here, a college fund there — but rarely as part of a bigger conversation. Yet money decisions shape so much of daily life and the future we hope to create for our loved ones. That’s why I always recommend making money a recurring topic of conversation.
We spend so much time planning for our families — whether that’s by thinking about how we’ll contribute toward a college fund for our children or considering the legacy we want to leave behind. But many people forget to actually loop the family members they’re planning for in on those plans.
Money discussions may feel awkward or taboo. But when it comes to family, the reality is that neglecting to talk about money may create unintended consequences down the road.
As we enter the holiday season, we wanted to share some advice on how to start money conversations in your family, no matter where you are in the journey.
Why Money Conversations Matter
A person’s financial standing impacts their ability to retire, where they’ll live during later stages of life, how their spouses or children are impacted following a death in the family… The list goes on. Talking about money can be uncomfortable on its own — adding topics like aging or end-of-life planning can make it feel even heavier. But avoiding those conversations doesn’t make them go away; it only leaves loved ones with harder decisions to make when those moments inevitably come.
Opening these discussions early helps families understand intentions and expectations, build confidence about how assets will be handled in a variety of future scenarios, and navigate major decisions with confidence and clarity.
Getting Started
Helping children understand the why behind financial decisions in an age-appropriate way prepares your family to approach financial conversations with confidence for years to come. Even if you’ve never had a meaningful financial conversation with your children or other family members, it’s not too late to get started, regardless of your age or life stage. To kick things off, consider:
- Starting small. Family finance conversations don’t have to start with complex topics like retirement plans. With younger children, something as simple as deciding together whether to exchange gifts at Christmas or take a family vacation can introduce the idea that family decisions have financial trade-offs. Older kids might enjoy taking part in planned giving — learning about the local organizations you support and helping decide which causes the family will contribute to in the coming year.
- Inviting questions. Instead of guiding the entire conversation, leave lots of room for questions. Opening up the discussion takes some of the pressure off of parents and gives kids some ownership.
- Start thinking of milestones as opportunities. Start thinking of milestones as opportunities. Is someone in your family approaching high school graduation? Maybe you’re helping an adult child move out on their own or selling your family home and preparing to downsize. All of these moments offer a chance to include your children in the conversation and help them understand the strategy behind financial decisions.
- Remembering that it’s never too late. If you’re reading this thinking that maybe you’ve missed your chance to make family finances a priority, trust me — you haven’t. Even if your children are grown and out of the house, there are likely things that would be helpful for them to understand better. Do you have a will? Do your children know what to do upon your passing? I’m not suggesting that you start this conversation at the table during holiday dinner, but think about what you could do to better prepare your family for the future, and while everyone’s together, go ahead and plan a day and time that you can connect in person or virtually to get on the same page about those details.
Making Discussions Accessible
If you’re reading this and you’re sold on the importance of family financial discussions but you’re unsure where to begin, you’re not alone. In particular, we often find that women in the “sandwich generation” — those caring for children and aging parents while also planning for their own retirement — feel uncertain about how to navigate the complexities and nuances of financial conversations during this stage of life.
That’s what inspired our next Wise Women event, taking place on January 28, 2026, at the Chattanooga Golf & Country Club. This event will help women navigate these financial realities with confidence and clarity.
The event is free with RSVP, and it’s a great place to learn more about how to begin these important discussions.
Tracey Smith is a relationship manager at The Trust Company of Tennessee. She directly impacts the financial well-being of thousands of retirement plan participants and understands the importance of starting early in life to achieve financial goals later on.
